trust in the dip

Look, it’s pretty simple.
We get in the dip. It happens. We feel stuck. We lose our momentum. We bottom out. We feel empty, hopeless, alone, scared, uninspired, dry, and that all of this will never work.
I know it can be tempting to try to figure a way out. But before you do…

Take a moment to at your past. How many times has something like this happened before?
Several? Many? A lot?
Now, I know it can be tempting to look at what those situations had in common. What were some of the traps so you can avoid them. But before you do that…

Out of those times that something like this has happened before, how many times have you come out of it?
A few? Some? How about all of them?
Yeah, I thought so. ALL OF THEM.
Every single time you have been stuck in the past, felt down, depressed, empty, unmotivated, dry, etc. you have at some point gotten out of it. It’s happened EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Which means that you have a 100% success rate of getting out of the dip.
Which means that the dip your currently in (or will be in at some point) you have a proven 100% success rate of getting out of it.
Of course the methods and strategies you use may be different as the situations require. You may have gotten yourself out, or someone came along to help you, or something just appeared at the right time. Either way, it happened. You have proof.
You can rely on it.
Just trust that when you get in the dip, you’ll ALWAYS come back out.
Guaranteed.

What coaches are saying about the Fast Pass to MasterFull Coaching

“I did all my initial coach training with an training organization that was quite structured in its approach. In my head I thought of it as all ‘straight lines’. It was good, and I learned a lot, but I always felt like there was something missing. At times it even felt superficial and that niggled at me. I tried to add my own approach – my ‘free flow’ I called it – but I couldn’t quite work out how to piece it all together. I’m not saying I didn’t have great client interactions – I did – and I got great client feedback, but I knew it wasn’t quite right.

“Then I discovered Ben’s programs. He can do structure and straight lines, but he’s mastered the depth, curves, squiggles, and real true humanity – which is exactly what I was looking for. I use Ben’s simple techniques and approaches all the time now. I can honestly say I am getting amazing feedback from clients and my confidence has grown significantly. I now know things like how to recover when the coaching goes awry and how to reconnect so I’m in the moment again. I am learning how to twist, play and hit the home runs. I’ve also sped up – a lot – I’m doing 15 minute calls and having some clients finish the call saying things like ‘wow, are you always this effective? or ‘wow, I never imagined I’d figure this thorny problem out so quickly and feel so different.”   -Joanne Ostler, PCC

I’m so proud and honored to receive comments like this from coaches.  It’s part of my quest to help coaches of all types discover their deep and full coaching power, confidence and success.

Now it’s your turn.

The next series begins March 26 at 11:00 am CST/ 12:00 EST and there’s a spot still open for you.
In fact, I believe in this work so much, and I want you to begin discovering your MasterFull coach right away, I want you to jump in to the first super packed 1:45 call as my guest.
*(If you’d choose to continue with the Full Fast Pass course, I’ll send you a special discounted link you can use so you can receive all 32 CCEUs, 15 weeks, 7 mentor coaching hours and become 1 powerful and confidence coach.)

Just send me an email to ben@bedo.org and I’ll pass along the FPMC coaching hotline so you can join in the fun.

And for more information, visit www.mastermycoaching.com.

What are you waiting for?
It’s time for you to jump into the Fast Pass
Your coaching will never be the same.

PLAYGROUND PONDERABLES 5 – The See-Saw

As coaches we know there are good times and there are bad times.  As we get older and our challenges get harder and complex, this can be one of the most powerful things to remember, and yet, when we’re stuck in those crisis moments, it can be hard to remember.  We feel like we’re not moving, nor will we ever move.  Things will never change, and we’ll always see things the same way.

And when you’re stuck on the bottom, you can’t really get yourself out.  You need help–someone to balance you out and lift you up.  And no matter how bad it gets, we must always keep in mind the old adage, “What goes up, must come down.”  but that also works the other direction, “What goes down, must come back up.”  That alone has been a source of hope and inspiration for many.

It’s a wonderful phrase and lesson to learn, and yet, typically when we’re in the middle of our crisis or stuckness, it can be hard to remember.  from where we’re sitting, we’re down and we’ll always stay down.

It’s amazing that we forget so easily the lessons that we learned from the playground while playing on one of life’s greatest teachers–the see-saw.

Yes, you heard me right.  Think about it.   The See-Saw

First off, don’t get me started on the name.  I don’t know where it really came from.  Some think that it’s a derivation of the up and down motion resembling the back and forth of a saw (and there’s this whole french pronunciation thing and I don’t know.)  Suffice to see, however it originated, the name is sooooooooooooo coaching, considering we’re all about what you see (literally as well as metaphorically), what you will see, and what you saw.

But aside from that, let’s look at how this works.

First off, have you ever tried to see-saw alone?  Doesn’t work.  You just sit there.  Stuck on the ground.  Sure, you can lift yourself up, but as soon as you lift your legs that are supporting you, you’ll come crashing down on your keister.

Someone needs to help you, to partner with you, to serve as your balance.  Now it can’t be someone much larger or too small, they have to be about the same size, and more importantly, weight.  If you have a similar weight then when they get on, you’ll rise up nice and steady and you’ll balance each other out… legs dangling as though you are floating on air.  If you’ve ever had someone larger jump on, you’ll know the experience.  It can be quite exciting to suddenly be catapulted upwards, but a little scary as you leave the seat and continue flying out of control.  And when you come down, it’s not a pleasant feeling.

Nor is when that other person suddenly gets off and they no longer balance you out and your own weight brings you crashing down to bruised tailbones.

Now one game we used to play was when two people would balance off on the see-saw and then another would jump on the middle.  If they stood right in the center (the fulcrum) they would be able to add to the balance.  Then another kid would climb on and the one in the center would adjust his weight a bit to accomodate, and then another would perch upon and another.  It was a fun game to see how many kids we could pile on this one ride, all balanced out and even.  And then slowly start moving up and down, up and down.  With all that extra weight it would be harder to move quickly, and things could get out of hand easily.  There was quite a degree of trust as we would all rely on each other.  If one kid jumped off the right side, the left side would jolt downward, thus usually losing a kid on the back end.  This in turn would shift the weight back over to the right side and some would tumble there, and before you knew it, everyone had fallen off (and hopefully not gotten hurt in the process–which explains why the adults wouldn’t let us do it).

I’m sure there’s more metaphors and lessons learned from this and I’d love to hear what you come up with.

So please share your thoughts and ideas.

PLAYGROUND PONDERABLES 4 – Entering the Sandbox

At my playground the sandbox was probably the coolest activity of all.  It was the great equalizer for boys and girls alike–cool or awkward, creative or not, social or solo.  This was the place where anything was possible.

You got to play in the ground in something that by all means would make you dirty, but you didn’t get dirty.

You could create buildings, bridges, roadways, tunnels, caves, “bottomless” pits, and just about anything that your imagination could think of.

You could work with just the sand, or you could bring in your own shovels, molds and other implements of building.  And you could always bring your toys (cars, action figures, and even an occasional “buried treasure”)

You could work with friends, but it was also where you met and interacted with other kids you didn’t know.  And you were all tied to that same activity.  You were all working together for the same goal.

You could make up games

You didn’t even have to DO anything specific.  Many a child enjoyed the sensation of running their fingers through the grains, watching them pour through the cracks and cascade to the ground like some sort of solid water.  Other kids would enjoy the feeling of digging their hands into the flexible earth, sifting their fingers (and occasional toes) deeper and deeper.

And at the end of the day, when it’s time to go home, you always (somehow, no matter how hard you try) manage to take a little bit of the sandbox home with you.

But the greatest thing about the sandbox was that there was no “wrong” way.

Wouldn’t it be great if we all had sandboxes now?

We could create anything that our imagination could dream.  We could connect and collaborate with old colleagues and new friends.  We would all be equal, regardless of where we came from and who we were.  We could all focus on a single purpose, and make up a new purpose in a moment’s notice.  We could experience great satisfaction on our own or in a group.  We could simply while the time feeling the texture and simple BEing in the experience.  And when it was time to leave, there was always a few grains that stayed with you.  (You know?  Come to think of it, maybe we DO have a sandbox.  Hm.   I wonder.  Anyone have any ideas?)

PLAYGROUND PONDERABLES, Part 3 – climbing the jungle gym

in tandem with my BeDo Bits newsletter I’m also posting some smaller Bits to ponder and coach grow.

Jungle Gym/monkey bars: 

You’re standing on one side. You have to get across.  And the only way you can truly accomplish this is to do it one hand at a time.

You can’t hold on and wait for the right moment.  There is no “right” moment. You have to start by leaning yourself forward, reaching out and grabbing hold.  And once you do so, you can’t stop or go back, and you have to trust and let go in order to move forward.

Once you start moving you don’t stop, otherwise, you’ll be stuck in one place.

It’s so much harder to get yourself moving And if you fall, then it’s only into a pile of wood chips (or nowadays it’s recycled tires into safety rubber chips).

 

All right, awesome coaches.  Please share your thoughts and metaphors of Monkey-Bar coaching