The WHOLE truth about being Broken

This may come across as radical, or brilliant, or perhaps I’m sharing something that you already know.

I was talking with a coach about the concept of seeing our clients as “Naturally Creative, Resourceful and Whole.”

Admittedly, although I’m not a fan of most school-specific jargon, this is one that I’ve learned from CTI, and haven’t found a suitable replacement.

Ironically, this concept is not part of our 11 ICF Core competencies, but it still shows up in many coach trainings (or their own version.)

In any event, this can be an easy concept to “get” but quite challenging to truly “GET”.

And invariably, when I’m working with coaches on this topic, these questions come up:
“But people come to you with problems.”
“But if they have ADD, or real problems…?”
And even, “What if they’re in recovery?”

In other words, how can a person be whole if they’re broken in some way?

Still further I have coaches who struggle with the “whole” concept.
“What if they’re missing a limb?”  “What about those with a disability?”

So let me shortcut this simply by saying, “Whole” has nothing to do with a person’s appearance, situation, environment, or what they do or have.

WHOLE is who they are.

If someone has problems, they are a WHOLE person with problems.  If someone is disabled, they are a WHOLE person with a disability.  If someone is sick, they are a WHOLE person who just happens to be sick.

The WHOLE is about them as a person, a living being.  Would you say a child who is born without teeth is not WHOLE?  Of course not.

When we see ourselves as broken, we abdicate our power.  We are helpless victims of the world.  Our circumstances decide and dictate who we are.  And that’s unfortunate.

True, we can’t control some of our events in our lives, we certainly can’t change the past.  Things happen.  People get sick, injured, or worse.  People get scared, stuck, tired, empty, hopeless, angry, hurt, and all those other things.

But if we insist they are WHOLE, then we give them back their humanity.

And the same goes with ourselves.  We are WHOLE.  That doesn’t mean we are without problems, obstacles, disadvantages and missing things.

Now here’s the stretch. I preface this by acknowledging there are circumstances and conditions that require specialized help.  I’m not talking about that.
But here me out.

(with certain serious exceptions) The only time that someone is broken, is when they say they are.

The only time a client is not considered WHOLE, is when they say they’re not.

The power of I AM or I AM NOT is very strong.  It trains the world how we want to be seen.  And it reinforces deep programming with ourselves.

The minute you or your client declares “I AM BROKEN” or “I AM NOT WHOLE” then it is irrefutably true.
But when that happens, then coaching cannot exit.  Growth cannot occur.  Discovery isn’t possible.  And possibility, passion, potential, and purpose are all insignificant.  We are powerless to change and hope dies.

(I know this sounds bleak, but consider it for a moment and you’ll see I’m right.)

But fear not, dear coach, because this powerful phrase works incredible wonders the other way around.  Because the minute, the absolute specific millisecond that you utter those words.
I AM NOT BROKEN, I AM WHOLE!” to yourself and to the world around you, it becomes irrefutably and unconditionally true.  No debate.  No contest.  No question.  It is deeply and completely true.

And when we are WHOLE, we have power.  Change is possible.  Possibility exists–unlimited possiblity.  We are able to connect with our passion and purpose, our lives have meaning.  It doesn’t mean that we magically eliminate and erase all our problems, but that we can handle them and not let our circumstances and situations define who we are.

You are who you declare yourself to BE.

So today, do yourself and the world a favor.  Declare yourself to be WHOLE.  Regardless of what struggles, shortcoming, obstacles, problems and any other “lacking” you might be experiencing, you are simply a WHOLE person who is experiencing it.

And that’s the WHOLE TRUTH.

The Coaching Skills Forum – METAPHOR

The use of Metaphor is quite common in the coaching field.
Some coaches are great at it, others struggle.
Some schools and methodoligies teach it deeply, others merely mention it.
Some coaches incorporate it into their coaching and find it tremendously valuable, while others don’t.
But let’s dig deeper into it.
What is METAPHOR all about?
what makes it important?
What gets in the way?
And what’s the bigger picture about METAPHOR that we might be missing?

Check out the latest Coaching Skills Forum call on METAPHOR and discover what you didn’t even know you didn’t know about this amazing skill.

And don’t forget to visit www.coachingskillsforum.com for more amazing recordings and to join us on our (free) live calls. (CCEUS are also available.)

I’ll see you there.

It’s not too late to join the Fast Pass to your MasterFull Coaching.

The Fast Pass to MasterFull Coaching

is a course like nothing out there. Designed to fully teach experienced coaches how to tap into their MasterFull Coaching. The course that coaches are calling, “Deeply inspiring”

“freeing”,
“empowering”,
“exceptional”,
“the best bang for the buck” ,
“encompassing the whole coaching experience” and,
the best investment you make in yourself since your original decision to become a life coach!”

Now it’s your turn.

Our class resumes Wednesday, March 23.  And if you want to be a part of this exciting course, you can still sign up and receive a recording of the first class so you can catch up.

  • You’ll learn all about the Coaching B.R.A.C.E–the four essential components to MasterFull coaching.
  • You’ll begin to discover what defines a MasterFull Coach
  • You’ll realize how your coaching can work more powerfully and easily,
  • You’ll start to define YOU as a MasterFull Coach.

And that’s just what you missed from our first call.

Class #2 focuses on creating more foundation for you and your coaching.

  • We’ll explore how our brains and bodies function, revealing specific and inherent qualities that will empower (or block) your coaching.
  • We’ll find out more about your clients and how they function, what they truly expect from you, and what you really can give them.
  • We’ll uncover the truth and the power of ASSUMPTIONS and how they can empower your coaching.
  • We’ll reveal the ATEBAR formula that defines all of coaching in a simple method, streamlining your coaching and increasing the impact on your clients.

And there’s so much more in the weeks to follow–all designed to develop and engage and bring out that MasterFull Coach within.

Visit www.mastermycoaching.com to learn more about this exciting and course that will deeply impact and EXCELlerate your coaching and to lock in your place in the class. Remember, as soon as you join, you will get the full recording of the first class so you can catch up on what you missed, plus all the extra bonus recordings that deepen and support what we introduced on our first call.

I believe that you are already a powerful, amazing, impacting, world changing coach. You just need to learn how to connect with that coach more deeply and consistently. The rest is easy.

Please join this course. Discover the MasterFull Coach that you possess.
40 CCEUs are available, 16 weeks, 7 Mentor Coaching hours, 5 bonus recordings, 1 bonus one-on-one coaching evaluation call, and a lifetime of coaching confidence and success.

Your Coaching will never be the same.

The Core Comp Calls: Direct Communication

Many of you know that I host the amazing Coaching Skills Forum calls (www.coachingskillsforum.com) but did you also know that for the last 8 years I’ve been also hosting another similar series called “The Core Competency calls” in partnership with the ICF-Chicago chapter.

www.icf-chicago.org

You see, where the coaching skills forum explores isolated and specific components of our coaching like “Metaphor” and “Reframing” and “Articulating”in a deep, engaging and sometimes provocative conversation, the Core Comp Calls explore… well, exactly that.  Our 11 ICF Core Competencies.

And the conversations are AMAZING.  Don’t believe me?  Then check out this latest call we had yesterday on DIRECT COMMUNICATION.

And then mark your calendar for every first Wednesday (which means the next one is April 6) for another scintilating discussion.

I’ll see you there.

(Oh, and you can listen to archived recordings and get CCEUS as well.  But the calls are all free for all coaches to enjoy, learn and grow.  So visit www.icf-chicago.org and check it out.  You’ll be glad you did.)

What happened on the last Fast Pass? The Result of RESULTS

RESULTS.

Let’s face it.  When you boil it down, every single client that we have has come to us for one thing, and one thing only.

In other words, “I don’t like the Results I currently have, and I want these other Results instead.”

Whether it’s a solution to their problem, brainstorming ideas, getting clarity, focus or motivation, answers, insight, direction, or whatever… it’s all about getting Results of some sort.

Which can be a great and powerful tool in our coaching… but it also comes with its own deadly and dangerous coaching trap.

Our most recent FPMC class revealed that deadly trap with the help of laser beams and paper, your saboteur (yes, they can be a great help here) and a million dollar bet.  By the end of the 2 hour lesson, the coaches were able to not only have an even more solid and reliable coaching foundation, but they also had every lingering anxiety and obstacle of their coaching targeted and COMPLETELY ELIMINTATED.

Yep, you heard me.  ALL Coaching anxiety completely eliminated.

It’s part of the Fast Pass to MasterFull Coaching which explores and reveals the secrets of the Artistry and Performance of MasterFull coaching.  And the next round begins Wednesday, March 16 at 12:00 pm Central, and there’s a space waiting for you.

Better yet, come to the first call as my guest to see how this course is “the best investment you could make in your coaching” (as one coach said).

Send me an email to ben@bedo.org with “I want to join the Fast Pass First Call” and I’ll send you the call in number.

And you can read more about this exciting and empowering advanced coaching class at www.mastermycoaching.com

There’s no obligation to join and you’ll watch your coaching confidence, power and success grow right before your very eyes.

I’ll see you there.