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16 calls, each 2 hours long, PLUS over 7 hours of audio recordings, PLUS worksheets, PLUS 46 CCEUs and 7 Mentor Coaching hours, PLUS a crazy freaked out GUARANTEE.

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Your Coaching will never be the same!

Free giveaways coming to the 2017 ICF Converge conference #ICFConverge

If you’re wondering what I’m referring to, I’ll tell you.

I’m coming to DC to present my workshop, “The ELEMENTS of Our Coaching”–a revolutionary, exciting, engaging, interactive advanced coaching redsigning of our common coaching skills and tools.  It’s taking what you already know and giving your skills, focus, and overall coaching confidence an ATOMIC blast.

And there’s more!

Everyone who comes will get a freebie (maybe a couple.)  I’m bringing discs and darts and other delicious details to pass along to you, the brilliant and wonderful coach.  All wonderfull things that will excellerate your coaching in amazing ways.

Visit to register, and be sure to come to my workshop, “The ELEMENTS of Our coaching” on Friday, August 25 at 11:00.

I’ll see you there!


The ELEMENTS of Our Coaching is coming to DC


I just had a wonderful time presenting the Master Class “The ELEMENTS of Our Coaching” to the Denver and St. Louis coaches.
Every coach left with great discovery.
Every coach deepened their coaching.
Every coach accessed their powerful coaching.
Every coach has grown in some amazing ways.
And now I get to come to DC for the ICF-Converge in August.

I can’t wait.  It’s going to be so much fun–interactive, insightful, inspiring, informational, incredible.

I promise, every coach–ACC-MCC–will discover something awesome, powerful, exciting and amazing in their coaching.
You will get something new that you will be able to incorporate into your coaching immediately.
I’ll see you there.

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“The ELEMENTS of Our Coaching” is coming to DC!!!

Yes, I am so excited to bring “The ELEMENTS Of Our Coaching” to the ICF CONVERGE conference this year. (#ICFConverge )
For all those coaches who are looking for something to deepen and expand their coaching, this is for you.
ACC coaches will watch their coaching confidence grow powerfully.
PCC Coaches will discover new directions and possibilities and potential.
And even MCC coaches will leave rejuvenated, excited and (Most likely) something new that you didn’t know you knew about you and your coaching.)
It’s a revolutionary, inspiring and empowering redesign of our old tools (and some new ones that you never got.)
This interactive, engaging and fun workshop will be on Friday, August 25, at 11:00.
If you want to read more about this workshop you can visit for more details. (But you sure won’t want to miss this event.)

And you can go to to register and lock yourself in.

You certainly don’t want to miss “The ELEMENTS” as well as the other amazing breakouts and keynotes they have assembled.   Some of the best in the coaching world.

I’ll see you there.

The ELEMENTS of Coaching Advanced Workshop is coming to Denver

In just a few days “The ELEMENTS of Our Coaching” comes to Denver as part of my “PRE-ICF-GLOBAL-CONFERENCE” tour.

This powerful and inspiring interactive Master Class completely redesigns our common coaching skills in an innovative and cutting edge approach.

All coaches—from beginner to highly seasoned–have loved this new and revolutionary reworking of our coaching.

Monday, July 17 from 6-9


  • Never be lost in your coaching again.
  • Instantly grow and strengthen ANY coaching skill
  • Discover an unlimited resource for Powerful Questions… and more.
  • Create undeniable proof how you can coach ANY client, with ANY problem at ANY time.
  • Deepen and solidify your coaching confidence in amazing ways.

(And when you are a more Confident and Powerful coach, finding clients becomes so much easier.)

3 Core Competency CCEUS are available

It all happens Monday, July 17 from 6-9.



And please help spread the word to other Denver Coaches out there.

Your Coaching will never be the same!


CTI Process questions: Part 2

Here is Part 2: of my response to PROCESS questions on the Coactive Network.  (By the way, you might also want to check out other wonderful responses left by other amazing coaches.

All right.  On to PART 2 (enjoy, learn and grow)

I also forgot to add thoughts about the question of the client saying they are done and “Processed”.


“TO PUSH OR NOT TO PUSH.  That is the question.

Whether tis nobler in the coaching to hold strong

And challenge the client beyond their comfort zone

Or to cede from our partnering advancements

Thus prov’d to their minds their safe repose. 

To back away from the challenges of our sessions

With the feeling they have yet done enough

and so they may rest.  And perhaps to sleep.

To sleep, perchance to dream.  Aye, there’s the rub. 

of how their strides of growth in life and work

Will yet to make their souls uplift with pride.

For when they’ve shuffled off this mortal coil

They can review their precious years with illusion

In deep belief that they have fulfilled their purpose

Without fear, without reserve, without change.”



All right, so pardon me for the little soliloquy.  I couldn’t resist.   But the point is still true.

And not just in PROCESS, but in all of coaching.  It’s just that PROCESS also deals sometimes with heavy emotions, strong memories, and deep fears, so often this type of experience is heightened.  So bear in mind that although this is answering the question about PROCESS, this is true for so many other coaching experiences.)


Let me preface this by stating that this whole “I’m good for now” backing away thing is not necessarily intentional on behalf of the client.

Let’s first remember that there is a deep, deep, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep programming that we all have built inside of us that is designed entirely and solely for survival.



All right, so perhaps you’re wondering why this is important.  After all, your coaching them, not dangling them over the Grand Canyon from a crane and spinning them up and down like a human yo-yo (though sometimes, I’m sure, life can feel like that.)

But it’s important to know that this “voice” is working triple overtime and has had their 47th cup of coffee so they’re jumping at anything that could even be slightly perceived as danger.

Including challenging our comfort zone.

After all, although our comfort zone may be actually uncomfortable, and even painful, we’re apparently still alive so I guess it can’t be that bad.

(You’ve heard, I’m sure, about the Devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.  Same is true for just about anything in this sense.)


So let’s go back to our beautiful coach, doing beautiful Process work with her beautiful client.

And remember, the client (unintentionally) is trying to keep herself safe.  While at the same time, she is intentionally wanting to explore and discover and create change.  (inner dichotomy, to be sure.  I know you’ve be there yourself.)

What happens as clients is we end up dipping our toe into some new places and the “PROACTIVE CHANGE” part of us goes, “Wow, this is new and great and just what I wanted” and the SURVIVAL part of us goes, “HELL NO!  I’M FREAKING OUT HERE!”

And what happens is a kind of yo-yo action of going in and out and in and out but only dipping a little bit, never really going deep.

That’s one way to look at it.


Another way is to realize that the client wants to be a good client.  After all, they’ve plunked down some good money.  They’ve accessed the courage to take the steps to work with you.  They came to you for a reason and they are truly seeking change.

So what also happens (again, completely unintentional) is we start to dip into some new (and potentially uncomfortable) territory and the client responds with “Ok.  I did it.   I stepped into new territory and I’m getting good stuff out of this.  I’m good for now.  This is good.  Aren’t I a good client?  I did what you asked and we have gone someplace new, just like you wanted.”

Again, this is completely undercurrent.

Again, it’s the client’s SURVIVAL mode kicking in, while at the same time, looking good.


It’s like when you know the 4 year old needs to eat their veggies to be healthy, but they resist it and resist it.  And so the compromise is, “All right.  Just two bites.  See?  Isn’t that good enough?  Now can I have my ice cream?”


This also is what happens when the client “drops the bomb” at the very end of the session.  “Here’s what it really is.” And there’s no time to deal with it or anything.  It’s the client’s (very unconscious and unintentional) way of “looking good” in the coaching and “doing it right” without really taking a big risk.


Ok.  So what to do?

Well, again, as is so often the case (and I say this in my class all the time) “In coaching there are NEVER absolutes.”

In other words, it all depends on the client, the coach, the situation, the topic, the… well, everything.


Sometimes, it’ll feel very clear your client is letting themselves off the hook really easy.  In which case, it might make sense to encourage just a little bit more.  (Kind of playing the 4-year-old back at them.  “Ok.  I get you’re done.  And we can stop right here with no problem.  But how about if we just look over here in this one little corner first?”)

Other times, you’ll feel that this little step alone might be puh-lenty and it’s better to let the client sit with this experience or back off a little and come back to it later (after all, if they’re truly freaking out, then you’re going to get nowhere.)

Sometimes you’ll hold the client to it and poke a little bit more and that was the wrong move and your client gets triggered.  In which case, it happens.  You followed an impulse and it wasn’t a “love connection”.  Own it.  Be fully responsible.  Reconnect to your client and move on to where your client needs you to be.

Sometimes your client backs off and you allow it, misreading what the client needs, and you let them off the hook.  It happens.  Clients can be slippery and clever (even when they don’t know they are.)


The one thing I point to that can help is that partnership between LISTENING and INTUITION.

And by LISTENING, I mean more than just the words.  And even more than Levels 1,2 and 3.  I’m talking about DEEP EVERY FREAKING LISTENING.

Listening to the words being said, the words not being said, the emotions, the silence, the inflections, the tone and… most important… the ENERGY.

By listening to the ENERGY, you can better identify what the client needs when they say they’ve had enough.  You can start to hear the truth of it, or the covering up and protecting of it.  You can start to hear their walls of defense going up or her curiosity to say with what is here.  You can hear her back away and put on a brave face or back away and realize this is a big step.

You can hear all of that when you LISTEN to the ENERGY.

And your INTUITION is in part doing that.  That’s part of what’s happening.  In fact, your INTUITION is kind of your own personal ENERGY READER.  This is what happens when you start picking up emotions (ENERGY) or when thoughts (ENERGY) just pop into your head.  Or when you start to notice a body sensation of your own (ENERGY).  It’s all there.  And it also has to do with the level of ENERGY and FREQUENCY your client is residing.  (To short cut a really HUGE conversation, you can simply notice ENERGY at either POSITIVE or NEGATIVE.  POSITIVE=moving forward, open, engaging, possibility, connected with values.  NEGATIVE=shut down, backing away, small, protective, fear based.


(Again, I don’t mean this to be a commercial, but I realize that this is a whole lot of deep and powerful stuff that I’m packing in here.  So if you want more, it’s all brought out in much more depth and richness in “The Fast Pass to MasterFull Coaching”  but again, I hope this helps.)


One of the things that also can help is the DESIGNING of the ALLIANCE with your partner.

I know it’s been brought up before, but it is so powerful and important it bears repeating.

First off, your client naturally gives you the reins of the coaching, but then calls the shots.  It’s like that person who says, “You go ahead and drive, I’ll go anywhere you want to.” And then starts giving directions.

In truth, you both are navigating and driving (perhaps it’s more like those “driver’s ed cars with two steering wheels and brakes)

When you DESIGN with them (not just at the beginning, but throughout the coaching relationship) you are continually establishing that you both are of equal responsibility and power in this relationship.

Your roles are different, but you both are at equal power.  Which means, when they want to back away, that’s their choice.  And when they choose to back away and settle for what they want, we can remind them of that full responsibility and power and check in.  “Is this what you really want?”

Backing away automatically from fear and playing small is never preferred.  But backing away with full awareness, full choice and full responsibility can be AWESOME.  Checking in with the client reminds them of their power and responsibility.


It also reminds us that we are not responsible for their change and results.  They are.

Yes, they are asking us (and paying us) to push them past their comfort zone and challenge their norms.  But I cannot, not can you, push the client any further than they are willing to go.

By DESIGING and REDESIGNING, even in that backing away moment, we are truly asking them if this is the game they want to play.  If this is what they came for—to be satisfied with dipping their toe.

Again, we can’t assume what is right and good for the client.  I’ve had many a client get tremendous discovery from a good toe dipping.  We shouldn’t undervalue nor underestimate the impact of a good toe dipping.

And if we’re dipping with the client, then even that little bit will be that much more impactful.


Again, there’s so much more as to how and why this works and supports powerful coaching.  But this should be enough to go on.


-ben dooley, MCC, CPCC

The Fast Pass to MasterFull Coaching Teleclass

“Deeply inspiring”, “freeing”, “empowering”, “exceptional”, “the best bang for the buck”, “encompassing the whole coaching experience.” and ” the best investment you make in yourself since your original decision to become a life coach!”


Your coaching will never be the same.


The ELEMENTS of Coaching Master Class is coming to Denver

(If you know of any coach in the Denver area, please pass this along to them.  They’ll totally benefit from this and will thank you.)

It’s two weeks until The ELEMENTS of Our Coaching comes to Denver

A powerful and inspiring interactive Master Class on our common coaching skills.

All coaches—from beginner to highly seasoned–have loved this new and revolutionary reworking of our coaching.

Monday, July 17 from 6-9


  • Never be lost in your coaching again.
  • Instantly grow and strengthen ANY coaching skill
  • Discover an unlimited resource for Powerful Questions… and more.
  • Create undeniable proof how you can coach ANY client, with ANY problem at ANY time.
  • Deepen and solidify your coaching confidence in amazing ways.

(And when you are a more Confident and Powerful coach, finding clients becomes so much easier.)

It all happens Monday, July 17 from 6-9.



And please help spread the word to other Denver Coaches out there.

Your Coaching will never be the same!


CTI – Process questions, Part 1

There was a post that appeared on the Co-Active Network ( asking questions about PROCESS work in CTI and I really got into the reply.  So much that I think it would be helpful to you as well.  So please read, enjoy, learn and grow.

(For those who don’t know, CTI coach training identifies three major principles and directions that we typically bring to our coaching.  Don’t worry if this is new to you.  First off, my response below will help clarify I’m sure.  Secondly, don’t worry.  Whatever training you got, it’s just great.  And there’s always more to learn and discvover to add to your coaching.  So after reading this you might want to check out the Advanced Coaching class that I teach, The Fast Pass to MasterFull Coaching (

All right.  On to PART 1 of this reply.

Some wonderful responses so far.  So I’ll put my own little spin on this.

(Be warned, it’s been a while since I have posted, so this is a little lengthy.   But hopefully very helpful.)


To preface…

CTI’s PROCESS approach can be beautiful, powerful and life changing for our clients.  What’s amazing is that when I began to explore other styles and methodologies of coaching, I discovered there are many who don’t have this as part of coaching.  Hence the concern that it’s THERAPY.

It seems that every time we deal with exploring past experiences, emotions, and dipping into the “hard stuff” it’s suddenly THERAPY.

“So what did you have for breakfast yesterday?”

“Sorry, I can’t tell you.  That would be THERAPY.”

“All right, so how do you feel about today being your birthday?”

“Sorry, we can’t go there.  It’s emotions, and that’s THERAPY.”

“Ok.  So what are you afraid of about perhaps exploring areas that might be considered THERAPY?”

“I can’t tell you, because that would be THERAPY.”



(By the way, before there is any backlash by my esteemed colleagues, I’ll state clearly.  OF COURSE, we aren’t doing therapy with our clients, nor should we try to.  But let me also state for the record that therapy does not corner the market on Emotions, Experiences and Fears.  These things are part of our everyday, common and very healthy human experiences and are fair game for coaching.  If our client is truly injured, scarred or hurt in some way, then they of course need specialized help.  But if they’re stuck, like, oh, I don’t know, like 7 BILLION people, then we can assume that they’re just going through standard human experiences.  And if that’s the case, we can definitely coach them.)


So let’s look more closely at what Process is (and what it can be).

It’s more than just taking your clients UP or DOWN a tube.  It’s more than “getting them someplace”.

What we’re really talking about is helping our clients discover the full experience of what they are going through.


So often we go through life on autopilot, habit and just making our way through as best we can.  And yet, if we are doing PROCESS work, we’re helping our clients slow down and take a clearer look at what is really going on.

So what does THAT mean?


So to touch into your specific questions:


I’m not sure what you mean by enrolling.  If you’re already coaching then, and if you already have a clear partnership with them, then PROCESS is just as valid and available as FULFILLMENT or BALANCE.

However, if your clients are super-thinkers (as many are) consider it’s less about enrolling them (which actually sounds like a coachy word for “convince” and simply be with them.

Let yourself be curious about what is going on.  And if they ask, simply let them know that one of the things coaching does is help reveal blind spots.  And often those blind spots are easily available, but hard to see.  So let’s just poke around and explore a little to see what might be here.


I’ll pause this for a moment to clarify something that might help.  (this is in greater detail in my class, “The Fast Pass to MasterFull Coaching”, but it bears sharing here to help you better understand.)

There are four realms where we experience and express ourselves:

Intellectual – Mind

Emotional – Heart

Physical – Body

Spiritual – Energy

So looking at this with your client, we can assume that your client is very comfortable thinking.  She (I’ll assume for brevity) intellectually processes her world, she figures things out and things need to make sense.  And, when she’s faced with a problem she naturally tries to “think” her way out of it.

She’s a really good thinker, but that may also be where she’s gotten stuck.

(the same is true for other clients who are very emotional or very physical or are easily effected energetically.)

It’s important to note that an easy trap for us in PROCESS (and in coaching) is to take the client to emotions or body, because that’s where all the good stuff is.  And while that may be right, we first have to meet the client where she is.  We have to connect to her in the thinking world.

Just yanking her into “What does your body tell you?” or “What emotions are here?” creates problems in two big ways.

  1. You’re likely talking to her in a “language” she doesn’t understand or is comfortable with.
  2. You’re indicating that her current place is “bad” or “wrong.”

Most often, if we just slam her there she’ll respond with the typical, “I don’t know.” Because she really doesn’t know.

So first, what works well, is to connect with her in a “thinking/ intellectual” realm.  “So what thoughts come up here?”  “What memories pop up” (eek, I know.  Memories=THERAPY!!!!!) “or even, “What do you make up about that?”

Once you meet her, and she feels you are with her, then you can encourage her to explore somewhere else.  “So when you have these thoughts, what do you notice in your body?”  (See, we’re easing her into it.)

And from there we can shift and explore what emotions pop up, what her energy level is like (positive/ negative, victim/ empowered, etc.)

The other great thing about this is that when we find ourselves getting stuck in circles in one area, (thinking around and around and you start going, “Crap, where do I go with this?”) then you can always shift to another realm to continue exploring.


All right, back to your questions.


Why do you ask  clients to notice their bodies?

There are actually many reasons why this is so powerful.  Too much to mention (so check out the class).  However, one of the big reasons is that the body is very present.  Thoughts tend to take us into the past or future, which (if we’re dealing with some sort of problem or threat) is tied in with a fear of some sort.

Connecting to the body is in this moment—right now.  it’s what they are noticing.

Also, we can easily shorthand describe emotions (I feel happy or sad) and we know what that means.

Describing the body often requires a little creativity to interpret what the sensation is, often creating some sort of metaphor, which allows us to modify, expand, explore and play around with.

Also, if we’re fully present, in the moment, fear has a harder time sticking around.  Our old stories have a harder time sticking around.   Those old emotions have a harder time sticking around.

I’ll say that this isn’t an exact science, and it doesn’t always happen automatically, but when it does, this is why.


Yes, you are correct that is also can help the client to slow down and notice what other information/experiences they are having.  The more they are able to clearly see what the full experience is that they’re going through, the more they can be at choice and empowered.

Again, we’re not trying to “get” the client anywhere, not do we “take them out” and try to make it all better.

After all, there’s nothing to make better.  All we are doing is helping them to turn on the lights and explore themselves.


By the way, this would be a great spot to point out that I believe that everyone (I’ll repeat, EVERYONE) knows their bodies.  After all, they’ve had it their entire lives, right?

Where clients often get stuck is how to read and interpret their bodies.  So we need to find their language.  For some strange reason coaches seem to think listening to the body is some mystical experience, only for yogis on mountaintops and David Blaine.

We all know our bodies.  We all know pain.  We all know pleasure.  We all know tight.  We all know loose.  We all know energized, we all know dead.  We all know sore.  We all know healthy.  We all know weak.  We all know strong.

So that’s always a good place to start.

But what if (you might say) what if I ask them what they notice about their big toe, and they say, “nothing.”

Well, then perhaps it’s true.  Just cause we point to the body doesn’t mean it’s brilliant.  Just like every thought isn’t brilliant.  And every emotion and every Belief may not have deep meaning for that issue.  (Sometimes a cigar is just a good smoke, right?)

So perhaps check in with another body part.  Or explore the toe a little more further with a different type of question.  “Well, what does it feel like when you focus on your big toe?  What’s surrounding it?  How does it feel in relation to the other toes?  If your big toe could talk, what would it tell you?”

Or, “If it’s not your big toe, then where is it?”  And let them find the body part.


Also, body doesn’t have to be a sensation in a particular part.  It could be how they are sitting or standing.  Are they comfortable or uncomfortable?  Slouching or upright?  Are their clothes tight or loose?  Heck, let your imagination fly with your client.

All right, back to the questions.


What happens when the client gets resistant?

Well, then the client is resistant.

There is no ONE thing to do.  Often it depends on what’s creating and triggering the resistance.

  • If things are coming up that make them uncomfortable, you could be curious as to what’s coming up for them.  Stop digging further and just stay there.  Explore that resistance.  And let them know that there’s no need at this time to go further.
  • You might have jumped the gun too quickly, trying to “get” them somewhere .  they’ve consciously or unconsciously spotted your clever ways and slammed the brakes.  In that case, you could simply back off and reconnect with them where they are.  Let them be resistant and don’t try to force it.  Be with them, and then get curious again as to what else might be there?
  • It could be a saboteur (think the Wizard at the end of the “wizard of Oz” movie.  “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.”)
  • They could simply not be able to answer your question, they literally can’t see what you’re pointing to (which often happens if they feel that we have some sort of agenda, or are trying to “get” them to see it and they’re clearly not “doing it right.”  In which case, reconnect with them.  Don’t argue your point or try to convince them.  Simply be with their client.
  • You might even get curious about where they wish to go instead. “Ok.  So if it’s not in your body, then where is it?”
  • And sometimes, now is not the right time.  Perhaps your client needs you to do some FULFILLMENT or BALANCE instead, or something else.  After all, a whole session isn’t always ONLY one principle.


I hope this helps.

PROCESS can be uncomfortable not only for clients, but also coaches.  We’re dealing with sometimes raw emotions, unfiltered thoughts, unfamiliar body sensations and deep held beliefs about themselves or the world around them.

So the final thing I’ll remind you is that your client is a fantastic teacher for you.  She’s giving you real time training to discover, explore and learn PROCESS.  So the better and more solid your alliance is with your client, the more you’ll both to feel save to explore what PROCESS means.  Try some things and notice what is working and what isn’t.


When in doubt, you can always go back to your client.

“What do you need from me, right now?”

“What is the thing you’re afraid I will ask?”

“It would be easy for us to stop.  But is that the best thing?”


Your client is your best partner.


-ben dooley, MCC, CPCC

The Fast Pass to MasterFull Coaching Teleclass

“Deeply inspiring”, “freeing”, “empowering”, “exceptional”, “the best bang for the buck”, “encompassing the whole coaching experience.” and ” the best investment you make in yourself since your original decision to become a life coach!”


Your coaching will never be the same.