What’s the point?

For every discouraged, frustrated, overwhelmed, scared and beaten coach, you are not alone

I came across a coach on one of the Facebook groups who posted how they were feeling stuck, frustrated, overwhelmed and approaching a feeling of defeat.

They shared their passion, their love for coaching, their feeling of purpose.  The sheer joy they experience by helping people through the challenges they are facing.  The gift of their altruism, their positivity and their compassion.

And yet, they are continually being met with people who don’t want to change, despite their complaints.  And they really don’t see the importance of investing time and money to do so.

And then there’s the greater picture—the continual frustration of our social and environmental issues and topics.  The flood of negativity, ennui, fear and low level living that pours from our televisions, radios and computers.  The political, social, economical and global resistance that seems to beat us into submission.

And to quote, “Apart from that passion I don’t see the point of carry on coaching. Anyone is or has been through that similar situation?”

My response is. “EVERY FRIGGIN DAY I FEEL THIS”.

I can’t imagine how anyone could not.  Not if you’re paying attention to what’s out there.  Not if you’re listening and looking.  Not if you’re truly taking the risk and putting yourself out there to make an impact.

So I got on a bit of a drive and cranked this out.  I hope you find some support and inspiration in it as well.

Thank you for posting your feelings and thoughts. 

I, too, have faced many challenges in spreading the word, inviting others to be interested in what’s possible, completely passionate and empowered by how I can help, only to be lost in the shadows of mediocrity and complacency.

It’s a major killer of many coaches.

There’s a couple powerful things we all need to remember.

A) We are excited about coaching because we have tasted the nectar. We have felt the reward. We have seen the possibility and we are hungry for more.

I can tell you that there are others out there. Many others.

Consider how huge the self-improvement, business development and new age sections are in libraries and bookstores.

Go to Amazon and see how many different resources are available.

Look at the massive success of Ted Talks that continues to grow, as well as inspire other organizations to do their own.

The coaching world continues to expand exponentially. 20 years ago it was that weird woo woo thing that only was in California. 15 years ago it was spreading across the rest of the United States. 10 years ago there is a massive presence of coach training on every major continent (except Antarctica (and that’s only a matter of time, I suspect) and in every major country and 5 years ago it is a major force in the corporate and business industry.

As of last year, there are estimated over 30,000 certified coaches in 114 countries, and that’s just through the ICF.  That’s not counting however many other thousands of non-credentialed and non-ICF coaches spread worldwide.  Perhaps another 30K?

So something must be working.  Coaching must be important, attractive, exciting and fulfilling something critical in our world.

B.) change can happen quickly, or it can happen slowing.

If we look at everything in terms of ENERGY (we’re stepping into physics here, so bear with me) then consider when two forms of energy meet, it’s the bigger and stronger one that will win.

Case in point: You run into a 4 years old–you will win the collision.  You run into a 400 pound athlete–you will lose. 

It’s basically that simple and that true for all energy.

Now realize that Thoughts are energy.  Emotions are energy.  Beliefs are energy.  Our bodies are physical manifestations of energy.  Fear is a powerful energy.  Our passion and love is also amazingly powerful energy.

And the bigger and stronger the energy, that’s the one that wins.

Realize that everyone (yes, even us brilliant coaches) have lives filled with habits, set ways of BEing and DOing. We naturally strive for comfort, reliable repetition, and everything staying the same because that equals SAFE.

When we desire to create change, it takes more energy to change the energy of the old habit. A near death experience contains a massive amount of energy which can immediately create a deep and powerful shift to make a complete change. Just wanting something different because it would be nice and easier isn’t as much energy, and so needs continual structure and support, deepening, solidifying and creating the importance of this new habit and new actions to stick around.

That’s coaching.

This is why we don’t do well with “one and done” but we work slow and steady over time to redesign and grow new parts of our clients.

B part 2) When we choose change, we open the door to possibility. It may not be easy. We may have our saboteurs, fears and limiting habits flare up, but if we choose it, that’s at least something to build on.

However, if change is forced upon us (even if it’s for our own good) we will fight and battle it.

Instinctively, change represents unpredictable. And unpredictable could mean danger and death. (yes, that’s a little dramatic, but we’re talking about the Limbic system that’s designed to serve our primal need to survive and that’s exactly the terms it functions under.)

So consider how challenging is is for a coach who can see what others need and can be the resource to help them, but yet we can push coaching on them, or they’ll likely turn the other way.

C) it’s incredibly difficult to see our deep truth because we’re in the middle of it. We can’t see our blind spots, we can’t see where we are truly stuck, we can’t see the depth of our pain.

Others can.  After all, it’s easy to appreciate the artwork when you’re not stuck in the frame.  Right?

We can for ourselves, to an extent, with good training, lots of books, workshops, classes, and other forms of insight and growth.  But it’s not enough to motivate us or break through the self-limiting beliefs and blind spots.

Cause that’s why they call them blind spots.  We can’t see them.

We will justify, we will rationalize, we will assume nothing can be done, we will give in and just accept things the way we are. Even when we are miserable.

We will believe that help isn’t out there.

We will believe I can’t afford, don’t have time, it won’t work, it won’t work for me, it won’t stick, i can do it myself, I know enough, it’s not that bad, If only this one thing will change, things will have to change soon, I just have to stick it out, and all the other stories that keep us stuck and safe.

And we can’t see the deep truth.

Because if we did, if we truly recognized and felt that pain, we would immediately get help. We would immediately jump all in to get rid of our pain.

So consider, as coaches, we are often working against the human nature to survive–which includes stay exactly where you are, cause at least you’re alive now.

D) There’s the work we love to do, and then there’s the work that we have to do in order to do that work that we love to do.  And so often we don’t like to do the work that we have to do in order to do the work that we love to do.  We don’t know how, we don’t feel comfortable, we feel conflicted, confused, overwhelmed and perhaps even resentful that we have to do all this work in order to do the work that we love to do.

Remember that building a coaching business takes time. Patience. Consistency. Persistence. Mad determination. Powerful Passion. Unyielding refusal to quit. And committed to something bigger.

One of the biggest killers of many coaches is the fact that there are two different worlds at play here–Coaching, and all the business crap we have to do in order to coach.

And the mindset, the skills, the personality, and all the inner workings of someone who thrives and is successful at the business side of marketing, sales and all that stuff, is often a very different type of person who is all about contribution, following passion, helping others, and all that altruistic stuff.

(In fact, there is absolutely nothing wrong with altruism. It’s one of the powerful forces that has led to many incredible things in our world.) 

What’s so often the case is that coaches who aren’t skilled and comfortable in business need to learn the mechanics of that world. Practice, deepen and discover a whole new skill set that will serve.

Yes, technically there is tremendous overlap in those skills (And that’s a completely different conversation for another time), but they are technically also living in two different worlds. And so the two worlds must converge at some point

Lastly, speaking as someone who watches the news and sees the continual downward spiral we seem to be in.

Feeling like the current is getting bigger and stronger against this work.

Seeing more and more proof of how futile our efforts are.

Becoming more and more discouraged–is anything we do really making a difference?

Are we just fooling ourselves with feelgood moments but nothing every changes?

Are we living in a fantasy world while reality continues to command?

I have wondered that myself.

I’m sure many of us have.

So here is what I’ve come up with:

Consider that the very fact that there is all this resistance, the powerful current, the challenge and the sheer impossibility of working against the forces that be is an indicator of just how important it is that we do what we do.

The fact that we are so easily manipulated by our fears, we are so willing to sacrifice our souls, we are so easily able to relinquish our dreams, fulfillment, purpose and powerful meaning for a live of complacency, fear and safety. that is an irrefutable proof that we are desperately needed in this world.

We need more Positivity in this world in the face of negativity.  And compassion, it sometimes feels, is a continuingly diminishing commodity and casualty of all the dominance and control over others.  Unlimited Possibility and becomes battered by confining Probability.  Dreaming and Fulfilling fantasy gets demolished by Reality and hard facts.  Fear continually combats Love.  Our Humanity gets assaulted, often with the gloves off, perhaps even a street fight to the death.  Winner take all and win at all costs.

And through all this darkness, we (among many other warriors), we are the bringers of light. We take a stand for personal power. We insist that everyone is here to live a powerful and fulfilling life of purpose and meaning.  That the way we think and feel it is is not the way it has to be.  That we are all here to give and receive the very best to and from each other. That the purpose of our lives is not to dominate and control others, it is not to shrink away and hide and it is definitely not just going through the motions, accepting the obscenities, compromises and violations of our humanity as normal, and doing everything we can to just get through the day—day after excruciating and meaningless day—until we finally (and perhaps mercifully) die.

I can’t abide.  I am here to make a difference.  And I know it is hard.  And the very fact that it’s so hard makes it that much more important.

If you are like me (and I know there are many of us out there) then I call each and every one of us to stand up against the giant flood of mediocrity. To hold strong to the beating and battering of our complacency.  And to forage ahead, one step at a time, through the barren wasteland of our empty lives.  And to insist—relentlessly, unyielding, uncompromising, steadfast, adamantly insist—that there is more than this.

So much more than this.

And it begins with ourselves.

It has to.

We must work past our own complacency. We must strive beyond our own limitations and fears. We must overcome our old habits and beliefs. We must empower ourselves to choose what we see, how we stand, what we speak and what we are here to BE.

So now to you, dear coach, who is reading this.  I know you have felt discouraged at times.  Perhaps you are now in some small or great way.  And I promise you that you are not alone.

I do not insist that you stay with it and continue to try this coaching thing.

But I will stand that you never give up on your altruism. That you never relinquish your passion. That you hold fast to your desire to contribute and make this world a better place. And that you stand solid in the face of any opposition that you face… because you will. That comes with the job of being you.

And the world needs you.

If it’s through your coaching, then great. Go for it. If that shows up in some other way, then jump in the deep end and start swimming full steam ahead.  But get out there and reveal your full self.

Find others to join you (as there are plenty of us Peaceful Warriors out there) because in numbers there is strengths. (Bigger energy, right?)

And when you fall down (cause you will) that you have something so psychotically, incredibly, irresistibly important that will keep you getting back up.

That’s what we give to others in coaching, and we have to give it to ourselves, too.

I not attached that you continue on DOing coaching (though if that’s your path, then go down it with full abandon and don’t look back). But I am a stand for you BEing the FULLEST most beautiful, powerful, entrancing, exciting, passionate, world-changing version of YOU that you are truly here to BE.

Look.  As I just got done rambling about, this is hard work.  And the more we push forward, the more we are met with opposition.  The harder we strive, the more we are forced back.  But that just means we keep getting up and we push harder.  We insist that our way is the only way we will accept. 

So every day, do something to move one small step forward. 

Honor yourself.  Acknowledge the deeper truth within.  Celebrate a success.  Surround yourself with support.  Make the conscious choice every day—even for just one minute—to live your life without fear, doubt and shame.  Insist that you—even if it’s for just one minute—are an invaluable gift that not a single other person on the face of this earth can give.

Over 7 BILLION people on this planet can’t BE who you are here to BE.

So give your gift to this world—in EVERY POSSIBLY WAY you can discover—and if we all do that, I believe that is how we are able to, eventually, turn the tide.

Are you with me?

Then let’s get to it.

What happened on the first call of the Fast Pass?  – “Revealing Your MasterFull Coach”

What is MasterFull Coaching? 
What does that really mean? 
How do you know you are doing it? 
How can you accelerate your path towards it? 
What makes it different than good coaching? 
How is it different than MCC coaching?
And how can you get it?

Most importantly… HOW CAN YOU BE A MASTERFULL COACH IF YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW WHAT IT IS?

Yeah, they say it takes 10,000 hours to be a master at anything, but that’s a ridiculous amount of time.  What’s more important is what is discovered, what is learned, what grows and develops from within and what is ultimately revealed to the world.

That’s why this first call in “The Fast Pass to MasterFull Coaching” series is called,
 
“Revealing Your MasterFull Coach”.

That’s what it’s all about.

I’ve spent many years studying, exploring and digging into what truly makes MasterFull coaching—engaging with amazing coaches, witnessing awesome coaching, and studying with the best—always asking “what makes their coaching different?” and “how do they DO what they DO?”

And it all comes out on this amazing and 2-hour super-packed call.

Not only that, but on the call we will explore and design our own direction and destination together.  We do this with our clients, right?  Then why not ourselves?  After all, how can you possibly set yourself on a powerful path growing your coaching unless you know where you’re going?  Until you know what MasterFull Coaching looks and feels like, you won’t be able to really move towards it.  At least not powerfully.

Ah, but as we know, once you clarify your end point, once you discover and identify your “what”, the “how” is then revealed.  The same is true for our own MasterFull Coaching.  (In this case, the “what” is your MasterFull  Coaching, and the “how” is… well, that’s the rest of the class.)

Not only that, but I believe that you are already a powerful, amazing, incredible, awesome, rock your world coach, and I will prove it on that call.

Don’t believe me?  Well, in invite you to have a listen to the first call that we already had and I dare you not to have a powerful insight and discovery that will shift and open up your coaching.

Send me an email (ben@bedo.org) and I’ll send it back to you. 
(This is rich and valuable information so I don’t want to just toss it out.  But I’m happy to give it away if you’re really interested.)

There is no obligation to continue the course (if this is all you want, then consider it my gift to you).
But if you are interested in discovering amazing and powerful advanced coaching techniques that are nowhere else to be experienced, if you are truly ready to discover and reveal that awesome, powerful and MasterFull coach that lies within you, if you are really prepared to watch your coaching confidence explode, then you’ll get a special offer to continue the course.  You can visit www.mastermycoaching.com to learn more about this exciting and unparalleled journey.)

Either way, you’ll leave this call with deep insights that will shift your coaching forever. 
Your coaching will never be the same.

It’s not too late to join the Fast Pass to your MasterFull Coaching.

The Fast Pass to MasterFull Coaching is a course like nothing out there. Designed to fully teach experienced coaches how to tap into their MasterFull Coaching. The course that coaches are calling, “Deeply inspiring”,
“freeing”,
“empowering”,
“exceptional”,
“the best bang for the buck” ,
“encompassing the whole coaching experience”
“I really wish I had done this earlier in my coaching” and,
the best investment you make in yourself since your original decision to become a life coach!”

Now it’s your turn.

Our class resumes Wednesday, June 26 And if you want to be a part of this exciting course, you can still sign up and receive a recording of the first class so you can catch up.

  • You’ll discover the rich and overstuffed abundance of how your coaching will transform powerfully.
  • You’ll have a clear discovery of what defines a MasterFull Coach
  • You’ll realize how your coaching can work more powerfully and easily,
  • You’ll watch your coaching confidence grow right in the moment.
  • You’ll start to define YOU as a MasterFull Coach.

And that’s just what you missed from our first call.

Class #2 focuses on creating more foundation for you and your coaching.

  • We’ll explore how our brains and bodies function, revealing specific and inherent qualities that will empower (or block) your coaching.
  • We’ll find out more about your clients and how they function, what they truly expect from you, and what you really can give them.
  • We’ll uncover the truth and the power of ASSUMPTIONS and how they can empower your coaching.        
  • We’ll reveal the ATEBAR formula that defines all of coaching in a simple method, streamlining your coaching and increasing the impact on your clients.

And there’s so much more in the weeks to follow–all designed to develop and engage and bring out that MasterFull Coach within.

Visit www.mastermycoaching.com to learn more about this exciting and course that will deeply impact and EXCELlerate your coaching and to lock in your place in the class. Remember, as soon as you join, you will get the full recording of the first class so you can catch up on what you missed, plus all the extra bonus recordings that deepen and support what we introduced on our first call.

I believe that you are already a powerful, amazing, impacting, world changing coach. You just need to learn how to connect with that coach more deeply and consistently. The rest is easy.

Please join this course. Discover the MasterFull Coach that you possess.
48 CCEUs are available, 21 weeks, 7 Mentor Coaching hours, 6 bonus recordings, and a lifetime of coaching confidence and success.

Your Coaching will never be the same.

-ben dooley, MCC
YOUR coaching confidence and success, made easy and fun.
“I BElieve that you are an amazing, powerful, and impacting coach!
I want to help you connect to that coach and unleash your coaching power and confidence to create your coaching success! “
630-484-2336
www.bedo.org
ben@bedo.org

The Fast Pass to MasterFull Coaching First call Free Preview

“I wholeheartedly recommend The Fast Past to MasterFull Coaching (www.mastermycoaching.com) with Ben Dooley, MCC, to others, especially to those who have coaching experience and believe there’s more to explore!”

Yes, that’s what coaches are saying about this amazing and unparalleled course.  There is so much more to explore, learn, discover, stretch and grow in your coaching.

And I’m inviting you to check out the First call of “Revealing Your MasterFull Coach” as my guest.

·         This is where we will explore what MasterFull Coaching really is.

·         Not just good coaching. But “HOLY PINK PAJAMAS WITH PIZZA HOW DO THEY DO THAT?”: coaching.

·         This is where we begin to discover how that coach already is within you?

·         This is where we create a powerful starting point and end point of where you are now (your already good,

·         and perhaps great, coaching) and where you want to BE.

·         This is where the next stage of your coaching journey begins.

This discovery alone has been a profound and eye-opening experience for many coaches.  And there’s something here for you, too.

Wednesday, June 19 from 3:00-5:00 Central/ 4:00 -6:00 Eastern.

Just call 218-339-8524 PIN: 2336# and be ready to join a conversation that will shift how you look at your coaching.

There’s no obligation to join the rest of the class. This is my gift to you. But if you want to continue that option is available. Either way, it’s my honor to help you however i can to BE the coach that you’re here to BE

(Oh yes, and the whole course offers 48 CCEUs and mentor coaching hours… and so much more.)

Your coaching will never be the same!