630-484-2336 ben@bedo.org

the other day I tried something new.  It was in the UN-DEMO section of the FPMC class where I coach someone in the class to illustrate and deepen the learning.

We got to the point where I asked her to rate herself on a scale from 1 to 10 (for obvious reasons I can’t reveal the topic of the scale) and she gave herself an an “8”, which I’ll admit isn’t bad at all.  “8” is in fact pretty good.  Many of us would kill to feel an “8”.

Of course, the next step in the process is to have the client look a little higher on the scale, in this case, consider what an 8.5 or a 9 would look like.  Start stirring up the pot, brainstorming, getting energy and motivation to move towards that exciting experience that awaits.  You know, “What is the one thing you could do to move closer towards that “9”?”

But suddenly I got this impulse.  And I’ve done this long enough to trust it and be curious as to what we discover.

So instead of going up the scale, I asked my client to look at what it would be like to have her passion down at a “7”, to which she quickly corrected, “No, actually I can even look at it being a “6”.”

She started to paint that picture, basically of how she would be “less”.

I was getting worried that I was not only doing an UN-DEMO, but I was doing UN-Coaching by talking my client away from where she wanted to go.  But I trusted the impulse, trusted the coaching, and (most importantly) trusted the client and continued further.  “So what might a “4” be like?  How would you think and feel differently?”

Even deeper she explored, recognizing that she would be even less focused on her goals, direction, passion and purpose.

Again, getting a little nervous, but trusting, we were coming to the end of our call, so I asked what she was getting out of this exercise.

Let me tell you, she discovered some amazing things for herself.  things that we likely would not have uncovered had we gone UP the scale.

So the next time you’re heading toward a formula or process, and you know how it’s supposed to go… perhaps try going the other way and see what happens?  I can’t guarantee the results will be the same, but the thing that made the difference I believe was that there was the solid cornerstone of trust.

Trust in the coaching.  Trust in my intuition.  Trust in the client.  And Trust that whatever came up, it was a place to explore, learn and grow from.

I can’t wait for the next FPMC class to see what new things of MasterFull coaching we discover then.

Anyway, thought I’d share this coaching experience with you.


Please share your thoughts and comments, I’d love to hear what your responses to this are and how we can all stretch and learn and grow.