OK, how many of us are having coaching calls and they aren’t feeling like they’re connecting with our Values? There’s no sense of excitement, play, acknowledgement, discovery, etc…? And as we all know, if our Values aren’t being stimulated, then where is our aliveness?
So look at it this way.
Let’s say you’re going to a party, and you love potato salad (just go with me on this one, okay?). I mean, every time you have potato salad your tummy twirls with delight. In fact, you go to every party desperately hoping against hope that there will be potato salad for you to consume with passion.
The trouble is, sometimes there is potato salad… and sometimes there’s not. Apparently, not everyone thinks to provide potato salad for their guests. (Heathens.)
“What are they thinking?” you might say. “Don’t they know how wonderful potato salad is? What’s wrong with them? Or maybe they don’t want me to have potato salad. Maybe they’re holding out on me.”
Or perhaps they have their own plan as to what is needed at their parties.
And who are you to tell them what they should and should have at their party? However, you really want to go to the party, but you have no way of knowing if they’re planning on serving potato salad.
What are you going to do?
How are you going to guarantee that potato salad will be there at the party?
Well, it’s pretty simple. If you really want potato salad—I mean, really, really, really want it—then the only way to guarantee it will be at the party for you to enjoy is… (can you guess what the solution is? Go ahead, take a guess) …that’s right, to bring it yourself. Stop at the store on the way and purchase a tub of your own. Or make some of your own the night before.
This way, not only will you have your deeply coveted potato salad, but others will most likely be there who will enjoy your potato salad, and in fact, be so inclined to bring their own next time to share with you.
So going back to your values, the best way to insure that you’ll have those elements that you desire in your coaching is (come on, take a guess)… that’s right… to bring them to the call yourself.
Most often we fall into the trap of waiting for the client to bring our values into the call, like somehow it’s their responsibility to bring connection and energy and abundance and whatever our values are to the call. What we fail to realize is the simple fact that they are our values, not the client’s. They’re having enough of a time trying to connect with their own values than to be responsible for providing you with yours.
Of course, continue to follow the client’s agenda, give them what they need, but by using your Values to do so, you’re actually showing up more fully for your client. If you want acknowledgement in your coaching, then acknowledge your client. If you’re wanting playfulness, then play with your client. If you’re wanting risk taking, then… well, you get the idea. In other words, YOU make the first move, and invite your client to join you.
And not just with your clients. How about all your other relationships? You want your mother to respect you? Try respecting her—really respecting her, without expectations. That means, that you’re not going through the motions of respecting her so that she’ll get the point and return the favor. It’s about truly giving up expecting it from her, cause chances are it won’t show up. Just like the potato salad, if you want it, you’ve got to bring it. And then it’ll be there for you to enjoy.
So give it a try. Give your Values away.
You just might be surprised at what you get in return.